Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Mkelly's Top 8 Movies of 2009

8. Hannah Montana
Rotten Tomatoes Rated: 44%

Go ahead and laugh but this movie was damn entertaining. Not only does it have a cheesy teenage romance and a really good soundtrack, but it shows you that you really CAN have the best of both worlds! Also, need I mention the newest dance craze, aka The Hoedown Throwdown? If you don't know it, learn it!

7. The Proposal
Rotten Tomatoes Rated: 43%

I actually thought this movie would be a lot worse. Even though you knew how it was going to end, watching the movie get there was a lot of fun. Plus, I love Ryan Reynolds. And Craig T. Nelson! I love Craig T. Nelson because he's just Craig T. Nelson.

6. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Rotten Tomatoes Rated: 20%

The first Transformers is a Kelly family staple. We watch action-romance-comedies allllll the time. No matter how bad they are, they're entertaining. And that's exactly how I feel about Revenge of the Fallen. Yeah, it was a little long, but it was funny, and it had action and dammit, my name is Megatron.

5. Inglourious Basterds
Rotten Tomatoes Rated: 88%

This is not my typical favorite movie. I'm not going to lie, I thought it was a little slow at parts, but I ended up really liking it. Brad Pitt is hilarrrrious and the guy who plays the one general is really really good. The ending is also just kick-ass.
Bravo, Tarantino.

4. 17 again
Rotten Tomatoes Rated: 58%

Admittedly, I ended up seeing this movie because Hannah Montana was unavailable when I went to take a few sixth graders. It was awesome. Zac Efron was soooo funny, and even though the plot has been done before, this one was somehow just done right.

3. The Blind Side
Rotten Tomatoes Rated: 71%

I know some people thought that this was a little too neat, but I think it was great. It was just so sweet and inspiring and really made you want to go out and do something for someone else. I was almost crying from happiness throughout the entire movie. Plus it's based on a true story!

2. Star Trek
Rotten Tomatoes Rated: 95%
This is definitely a future Kelly family staple. Action romance comedy? Check. Chris Pine is great, plus he's hot. To think, I first saw him in Princess Diaries 2: The Royal Engagement. I really had trouble figuring out the time-travel part of it. For some reason I just could not get it straight in my mind. BUT I recently made a diagram and finally got a handle on it, so don't worry. Even though I didn't completely get it at the time, I loved it. And obviously Rotten Tomatoes did too.

1. The Hangover
Rotten Tomatoes Rated: 78%
I have a very high threshold for humor. I think lots of things are moderately funny and sometimes I'll giggle or laugh on the inside, but if I'm going to laugh out loud, it's going to be really funny. In order to make me really really really laugh, it's going to be fucking hilarious. This movie made me laugh out loud. Multiple times. Really hard. I love it and it is hands down my number one of the year.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Top 5 Faces of Kristen Stewart as portrayed by me

Ever notice that she has the same face for every emotion?

5. Sexy

4. Just hanging out

3. Flirty

2. Classy

1. Terribly in love. And I mean terribly.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Top 6 Boxes

6. Juice Boxes - Go ahead. Tell me you don't like a nice juice box once in awhile. I feel like they're usually the only things around when I'm super thirsty and then I finish the whole thing in like three seconds.

5. Boxed Lunches - Boxed lunches can be spectacular, especially because you always have such low standards for them. You're thinking, "Oh man, I'm going to have a soggy sandwich, a tiny apple, and maybe a bag of chips." Perhaps, but some of them are REALLY GOOD.

4. The BOX. - You know, the BOX? The now-defunct television station that played allll of the coolest videos when people called in and requested them by number? Ah, yes, those were the days.

3. Gift boxes - Obvi. Presents are awesome, especially when you can unwrap them. That didn't sound dirty, did it?

2. Perfectly-sized boxes - You know, those boxes that are just the right size you need to pack something, or ship something. Even if it's multiple things, it just fits perfectly. It's such a good feeling!

1. Fridge Boxes - They are hands down the BEST to make into a fort, hide in, jump out from, and do whatever else you need to do. You KNOW that once you read that number one was fridge boxes, you thought, "oh man I LOVED playing in boxes!"

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Top 5 Reasons Being a Cat Lady Wouldn't Be All That Bad

5. Think of all of the cat-themed, embroidered pillows and afgans you could have! Plus, think of all of the cheesy, cat-loving signs, bumper stickers and magnets!

4. A cat lady is just a few steps away from being a cat woman. Sexaaay.

3. I can be a part of the "Crazy Cat Ladies Society." No seriously, look at this.
They actively fight cat lady stereotpyes!

2. Having a cat decreases your blood pressure, cholesterol, triglyceride levels, and feelings of loneliness. Imagine what having more than one cat could do...

1. Come on, look at that face. How can you not want 20 more of those????

Thursday, October 29, 2009

(Temporarily) Top 3 Costume Ideas for Lauren and Laura

4. Lumberjack. This can go slutty or backwoods, it's your choice. I like my sister's version.
Jeans or jorts.
Flannel shirt
Mullet (DIY)

3. Star Trek Woman
Two options:
Black pants
solid colored long-sleeved shirt
Closed-toe black shoes
Homemade star trek pin with cardboard, tinfoil and tape
Optional black areas pinned on with paper...
Straight hair

Option 2:
Solid colored short dress
Homemade star trek pin
Straight hair

1. Gangster.
2. Flight Attendant. Necessary Materials:
Dress suit with skirt
Scarf tied at neck Heels Pantyhose (optional, but it's cold.) Slicked back or poofed up hair. Lots of make-up Homemade wings made with cardboard, tin foil and tape.
Necessary materials:
dress suit
nice shirt
(optional, though you could make one out of paper)
Pin stripes (also optional, but you could paint some on a suit you dont want anymore with whiteout).
High Heels.
Gun. use your imagination. lol
Lauren, I know we did this sophomore year, but eh, why not again. You still have the gun and hat?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Top 3 Halloween-Related Reasons my Kitten Hates Me

3. Devil Kitty

2. Hermione Kitty

1. Reluctant Pumpkin Kitty

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Top 3 Things I Learned from The Hannah Montana Movie this weekend

3. The farmhand will always be cute, your age, and totally into you.

2. If I wear a blonde wig, NO ONE will recognize me.

1. I CAN have the best of both worlds!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Top 4 Names for my Incredibly Elusive New Kitten

A week ago, my sister brought home an adorable little tabby kitten.
Unfortunately, she's been hiding from us since about 6 hours later. We haven't been able to find her ANYWHERE, but we know she's here because she keeps eating her food at night.

Here are the names I'm thinking of giving her.

4. Anne Frank - that's allll my mom, don't look at me. She thinks she's hiding in a wall.

3. Waldo - I could give her a little white and red striped hat.

2. McGyver - For the limited time I did see her, she was constantly surveying her surroundings to find an escape.

1. Carmen Sandiego - Where in the World is my kitten????

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Top 7 Things I'd Accept if the Barenaked Ladies Had $1,000,000

7. limo rides to the store

6. some art. i'm down with picasso or garfunkel.

5. a green dress. if it was classy.

4. a house

3. Furniture for my house.

2. a tree fort for my yard, with pre-wrapped sausages in the fridge and dijon ketchup.

1. A llama, I'd totally have one of those. Can you ride them?

That means, "no thanks" to the monkey, fur coat, K-car, John Merrick's remains and the emu.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Top 3 Censored Books that I'm Surprised HAD to be Censored

3. "Sex" by Madonna (number 19 most censored). Yes, nestled between the Goosebumps series and A Wrinkle in Time.

2. "Private Parts" by Howard Stern (number 87 most censored).

1. "The New Joy of Gay Sex" by Charles Silverstein (number 28 most censored).

Who the HELL is bringing these things in??? Everyone knows Howard Stern is ridiculous and has little if no literary prowess.

Check out the list.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Top 4 Things to Do with Abraham Lincoln

4. Cover his ears.

3. Pick his nose!

2. Kiss him!
1. Shoot him? Eeeeek. Too soon?

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Top 5 Signs I Didn't Expect to See on Vacation

5. "BEWARE OF POISONOUS SNAKES" - No shit I'll be wary of them. And I thought this was going to be a nice quiet family vacation in South Dakota.

4. "NO SCOTTISH TERRIERS" - Mount Rushmore may be an American monument, but it's just not nice to be prejudice against the Scottish. What about German Shepherds or Austrian Sheepdogs? Okay it doesn't say that exactly, but still, tell me it doesn't look like one.


2. "NO MOTORCYCLE COLORS - WEARING APPAREL WHICH IS LIKE TO PROVOKE A DISTURBANCE OR EMBROIL OTHER GROUPS OR THE GENERAL PUBLIC IN OPEN CONFLICT WILL NOT BE ALLOWED." What's a motorcycle color? Is that why everyone was looking at me when I wore a red shirt? Is it like the Bloods and the Crips?

1. "IN CASE OF FLOOD CLIMB TO SAFETY" - I was planning on swimming actually, thanks for the advice.