Thursday, July 30, 2009

Top 8 Hitler Yearbook Photos

In keeping with the Hitler theme, here is what the Fuhrer would look like in each of the following years.

8. 1992. I'd like to have seen anyone in Germany take him seriously while wearing that sweater.

6. 1980 and 1984. Hitler's artistic side. Before he got rejected by art school and decided to kill millions of people. The first one: Bob Ross, anyone? The second: Hugh Laurie?

5. 1978. Look at those golden curls. Irony: his favorite song was "Stayin' Alive" by the Beegees.

4. 1970. Oh, the Tears of a Clown. Is it just me or does he look like Napoleon Dynamite?

2. 1988 and 1990. If there's one thing everybody knows about Hitler, it's that he was business in the front and party in the back.

1. 1998
Little known fact: Hitler was the the original fifth member of Boyz II Men. In fact, he wrote the original version of "Motown Philly."

Fuhrer Hitler's back again
Doin' a little Arian thing
Adolf Hitler going off
Not too hard, not too soft...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

My personal Top 5 Psychodynamic and Humanistic Theories on Hitler

Seriously, could I have any more random topics in this thing?

5. As a child in the Phallic stage, he was attracted to his mother and when he was rejected, tried to model his abusive and distant father.

4. Because his mom lost so many babies before him, she overindulged him. He never fully developed an ego, which controls natural impulses. This means he also never developed a superego, which is the sense of right and wrong.

3. He has unresolved trust issues with authority because of his dad, which meant he could never stand having someone have authority over him.

2. He had no "unconditional positive regard" so he viewed himself as "bad" and acted as such.

1. His basic needs were sporadically met. Sometimes he didn't have food or shelter. He almost never had a sense of love and belongingness that is required to have self-esteem. Germany was his false sense of belongingness and self-esteem.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Top 8 Roads if they were named after Phrases, not Words

8.)"All good things must come to an end" Street. - It's obviously a dead end.

7.) "Out on the town" Road - Main Street

6.) "The early bird gets the worm" Highway - take that one to work and see how it goes if you don't wake up early.

5.) "Go the extra mile" Parkway - Finally, a road that inspires.

4.) "Haste makes Waste" Avenue - High history of speeding.

3.) "Pedal to the Medal" Lane - I don't think I'd want to drive here.

2.) "Where there's a will there's a" Way - If you really want to get through this street, you can.

1.) "It's hip to be a square" Circle - That's just amusing.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Top 7 Weasley's - a Harry Potter Tribute

The Weasley family is without a doubt a major (hor)crux of the Harry Potter series. Unfortunately, some Weasley's are better than others.

7. Percy. Ugh. Percy, you suck. I don't give an owl's hoot that you were Junior Assistant to the Minister of Magic - you are just an asshole.

6. Bill. I don't like your wifey, but my, you are attractive!

5. Charlie. You're pretty cool. You were prefect, Quidditch captain, and an overall legendary Seeker. Plus you helped the Order. The only thing is that you "prefer dragons to women." JK's words, not mine.

4. Ginny. I suppose if you're good enough for Harry, you good enough for me. Props for hittin that.

3. Ron. He just gets cuter and cuter. Plus, how can anyone not love the unbelievable tension between Ron and Hermione??? It's so cute. And he's so funny!

1. The Twins: Fred and George. My favorite favorite favorites!!!! They're HILARIOUS. I wish they were in the movies more so I could see more of their crazy shenanigans.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Top 5 Songs I Could Live with Never Hearing Again, Courtesy of 104.5

Dear 104.5,

I love you, really I do. But please, PLEASE, for the LOVE OF GOD, stop playing the following songs:

5. Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet with Butterfly Wings

4. Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit

3. Nirvana - You Know You're Right

2. Nirvana - Rape Me

1. Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box

I know, I know. Nirvana was a huge deal and inspired lots of people blah blah blah, Kurt Cobain, blah blah blah. I DON'T CARE. That's enough. And you can't use the excuse "we're only playing it more often because it was 20 years ago that Nirvana played their first show in Philadelphia." Yeah, okay. Maybe that warrants like one song. But you've been playing Nirvana constantly since your very first day as a radio station. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, 104.5. But as a contemplated writing this post, "Rape me" came on. And here we are.

And stop playing that Smashing Pumpkins song, too.



Thursday, July 2, 2009

Top 5 Pictures of Sparkler Designs

So, I did some research on sparklers today. Turns out they're a lot cooler than I realized. First of all, apparently a lot of people use them at weddings instead of throwing rice and blowing up birds or something. I like the ambiance.

Cute, eh? Second, a lot of people like to take pictures making designs with their sparklers and them post them online. Here are the best of these pictures.

5. This is pretty cool, but it's not ranked highly because it's just kind of obvious.

4. I don't know why, but I think this one is really cool. I really feel like it's smiling at me!

3. This is pretty bad-ass. Especially because it looks like only one person is doing it.

2. Call me corny, but this is just adorable.

1.How cool is this shit? HOW DID THEY DO THAT? I'm kidding. I know how. It's called an "everlasting sparkler." But it's still looks pretty awesome.