7 Best French Fries

7. KFC - They have fries?


6. Wendy's - It's not often that I just plain don't like fries. Wendy's just doesn't do it for me. They're unpredictable on their squishy and crispy ratio, they can be waaayy too salty, they're usually cold, and they just don't taste good. Poo, Wendy's. I like your chicken nuggets.


5. Steak N Shake - They're good, but they're just so TINY. I don't feel like I'm eating fries at all. I feel like I need to be dainty because they're so delicate. It's just not how a fry should be.

4. Burger King - In my personal experience, they have a very high ratio of crispy to squishy fries, which I do not particularly enjoy. However, I do like that once you get past their crispy exterior, the inside of the fry is quite squishy and delish.

3. Chick fil a - Not only do they taste delicious, but I get to eat them by row by row in their waffly goodness. Sometimes, if I'm feeling crazy, I might even dip them in polynesian or honey mustard!!!! Madness!

2. McDonalds - I mostly love these because they have the highest ratio of squishy fries to crispy fries. I love squishy fries.


1. Five Guys - Deliciously greasy, steaming hot, and overflowing into that brown paper bag, I just cannot resist these babies. Oooo look at all those squishy ones!

Realization: I need to start eating healthier.

Top 5 Best Gmail Themes

5. "Tree" - The aptly named "tree" theme does indeed have but one tree. It also has a gloomy pillow of clouds at the top that makes me sleepy just clicking on my inbox. Meh.




4. "Graffiti" - This one does not get as many points because I just don't think it lives up to its potential. Yeah, it's got some graffiti in the background at the top, but other than that, it's just black. Now, if they moved the graffiti-style google logo to the top, then it would be a front-runner.



3. "Desk" - This one is cute. Way more upbeat than say...the tree. It's like, oh I'm just going to check my email AH how did my desk get on my computer screen!? Oh. Oh wait. It's just gmail. Oh gmail, you fooled me again.


2. "Ninja" - a fan favorite, this one gets major points for its badass gmail logo and overall cool graphics. It also has cute little ninjas prancing about. Props, gmail.


1. "Beach" - this baby actually lets you set your location in the world so that you get to see what the beach might look like there depending on the time of day. For example, I set mine to Honolulu so I see sunrises and sunsets and different times. It's just delightful.

Top 4 Most Interesting Things about Lady Gaga

4. I CANNOT help but do the robot when listening to one of her songs. Now go listen to one and see if you can't.


3. She has a little person who used to impersonate Britney Spears, but now impersonates her instead. Truly a sign of success.

2. Her song "Pokerface" is about her having sex with a man, but thinking about a woman. I'm not going to lie, it makes me think twice about singing it now.


1. She's white. For some reason, I thought she would have been black - maybe because her voice and songs reminded me of Rhianna. My bad.

Top 7 Bonyfish that Look the Most like their Names

Here are top 7 bonyfish that look the most like their names.

7. The hawkfish. Sorry, hawkfish, I'm not really seeing it.


6. The wolf fish. Poor guy. He looks oafish and not that much like a wolf, although his colors are similar.

5. The lizardfish. I bet you thought you'd be number one, lizardfish. Well, guess what, you're not even top three. Yeah you look lizardy, but it's just too easy. Evolutionarily, you're much more closely related to a lizard than old wolfy up there so of course you can look like a lizard. Also I feel bad for the dead fish in your mouth.


4. The peacock fish. I like you, peacock fish. You're pretty and you have those spots like a peacock. Now if you had feathers, I'd be really impressed and much more apt to move you up.



3. The unicorn fish. Obviously, you look like a unicorn. However, you are missing hooves, a mane, a white coat, and your horn should be gold. But props for looking kind of like a mythical creature.


2. Porcupine Fish - You look like a porcupine and I feel really bad for you that you can't have hugs. Unless you hug other porcupine fish, if it works that way.



1. The parrot fish. Look at you, parrotfish. You do like quite like a parrot! You have the color, the eyes, and it looks like you have a beak. Well done, parrotfish, well done.

Top 4 Adam Sandler Co-stars

4. Rob Schnieder -It's too obvious that he's in all of Adam Sandler's movies, which is why he's number 4. Not to mention he plays like obnoxious characters, like the delivery guy from Big Daddy, or his weird friend from 50 First Dates, or that tractor guy from The Waterboy.


3. Peter Dante - Arguably the most attractive of the four, but he also always plays silly roles, like the stupid nurse guy in 50 First Dates, the gay(er) best friend in Big Daddy, and the douchebag groomsman in The Wedding Singer.



2. Steve Buscemi - He is classic. He plays silly roles, but does them well. Like, the homeless guy in Big Daddy, the drunk best man in The Wedding Singer, and Danny McGrath in Billy Madison.


1. Allen Covert - He is by far the best, since he is so hard to recognize in every movie. I had nooo idea he was the limo driver/best friend in The Wedding Singer, Ten-Second Tom in 50 First Dates, Gay Best Friend in Big Daddy AND the homeless golf caddy in Happy Gilmore. He looks so different for all of them.

Top 4 Things about Swine Flu that Made Me Laugh Today

4. This e-card:










3. This picture:













2. This website: http://doihaveswineflu.org/



1. This video: http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/226153/april-29-2009/enemy-swine--a-pigcalypse-now

Top 5 Worst Things About Bathing in Cecil B. DeMille's Bathtub

This dude, Cecil B. DeMille, is an Academy Award-winning director of "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille," fame. The lifetime achievement award at the Golden Globes is named after him.

I have bathed in his bathtub.

Somehow, this tub ended up at a house where I was staying in Anaheim, California. It wasn't anything too special. It was white; it was porcelain; it was a tub.

However, five things REALLY sucked about it.

5. The creepy 40-something brother of the woman my mom and I were staying with, who liked to bug us at all times of the day. We called him Buffalo Bill.

4. The lack of a shower curtain. I went to close the shower curtain only to find that there wasn't one. Okay, not that bad, right?

3. The lack of a lock on the bathroom door. Hence why I was so mad about the goddamn shower curtain.

2. The window (from mid-stomach on up) on the wall of the tub that faced the backyard, where Buffalo Bill, the gardeners, and the apprentices who worked in the garage walked by ALL DAY.

1. The fact that all of this put together meant that I was squatting awkwardly in the tub and trying to prepare myself to stop the door from opening at any second.