Top 4 Things to Do with Abraham Lincoln

4. Cover his ears.


3. Pick his nose!


2. Kiss him!
1. Shoot him? Eeeeek. Too soon?

Top 5 Signs I Didn't Expect to See on Vacation

5. "BEWARE OF POISONOUS SNAKES" - No shit I'll be wary of them. And I thought this was going to be a nice quiet family vacation in South Dakota.

4. "NO SCOTTISH TERRIERS" - Mount Rushmore may be an American monument, but it's just not nice to be prejudice against the Scottish. What about German Shepherds or Austrian Sheepdogs? Okay it doesn't say that exactly, but still, tell me it doesn't look like one.

3. "THERE IS A CASH REWARD FOR THE ARREST AND CONVICTION OF PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DESECRATION OF THIS CEMETERY PROPERTY" - Man, and I thought Philly had crime problems.

2. "NO MOTORCYCLE COLORS - WEARING APPAREL WHICH IS LIKE TO PROVOKE A DISTURBANCE OR EMBROIL OTHER GROUPS OR THE GENERAL PUBLIC IN OPEN CONFLICT WILL NOT BE ALLOWED." What's a motorcycle color? Is that why everyone was looking at me when I wore a red shirt? Is it like the Bloods and the Crips?

1. "IN CASE OF FLOOD CLIMB TO SAFETY" - I was planning on swimming actually, thanks for the advice.