Top 4 Names for my Incredibly Elusive New Kitten

A week ago, my sister brought home an adorable little tabby kitten.
Unfortunately, she's been hiding from us since about 6 hours later. We haven't been able to find her ANYWHERE, but we know she's here because she keeps eating her food at night.

Here are the names I'm thinking of giving her.

4. Anne Frank - that's allll my mom, don't look at me. She thinks she's hiding in a wall.

3. Waldo - I could give her a little white and red striped hat.

2. McGyver - For the limited time I did see her, she was constantly surveying her surroundings to find an escape.

1. Carmen Sandiego - Where in the World is my kitten????

Top 7 Things I'd Accept if the Barenaked Ladies Had $1,000,000

7. limo rides to the store

6. some art. i'm down with picasso or garfunkel.


5. a green dress. if it was classy.

4. a house

3. Furniture for my house.


2. a tree fort for my yard, with pre-wrapped sausages in the fridge and dijon ketchup.

1. A llama, I'd totally have one of those. Can you ride them?

That means, "no thanks" to the monkey, fur coat, K-car, John Merrick's remains and the emu.

Top 3 Censored Books that I'm Surprised HAD to be Censored

3. "Sex" by Madonna (number 19 most censored). Yes, nestled between the Goosebumps series and A Wrinkle in Time.

2. "Private Parts" by Howard Stern (number 87 most censored).

1. "The New Joy of Gay Sex" by Charles Silverstein (number 28 most censored).


Who the HELL is bringing these things in??? Everyone knows Howard Stern is ridiculous and has little if no literary prowess.

Check out the list.