Sunday, February 15, 2009

Top 5 Most Common Alternatives to Valentine's Day

It was Valentine's Day yesterday. Here are the most common alternatives to V-Day that were celebrated yesterday.

5. Virgin Day - For those who perhaps are alone, but still celebrate the fact that they are no longer a virgin, or celebrate someone who still is. Just make sure you don't play "The Final Countdown" if you take their V-Card.

4. Valium and Vodka Day - For those who decided to self-medicate their pain, sorrow, and singleness with a few prescription drugs and heavy liquor.

3. Vindictive Day - A fan favorite - For those who were so bitter that they walked around looking sour, scowling at any couples and scoffing at any and all plastic/candy/decorative/real live hearts of any kind. These people probably refer to V-Day as "singles awareness day."

Tied at number 1. Vagina Day - one for girls, and one for guys.

Vagina Day
(for girls) - For all the girls who first watched The Notebook, then went out with the single ladies, and put their hands up, (oh oh oh). Then put their purses in the middle and shook it like a polaroid picture after forming a circle and saying, "fuck guys tonight, I just wanna dance." Alternative names to this day might include "vajajay day."

Vagina Day (for Guys) - Go out to the same clubs as the single ladies who put their hands up, (oh, oh, oh) and try to infiltrate the circles they have made to attempt to take advantage of the inner sadness the single ladies are actually feeling.

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