Top 5 Women's Work Shoes and What the Wearer is Thinking

5. The flat
Example: Dr. Scholls "Habit"

"I still care about looking cute, but god DAMMIT I will be comfortable."

4. The winter boots
Example: Target tan $20 boots

"God DAMMIT I'm going to be comfortable, even if I look unprofessional."


3. The high heel with pointed toe
Example: Claret by Big Shoes
"I'm super feminine, have a great sense of style and I'm going to show it."
2. The high black boots with chunky heel
Example: Siena, by Chic Petite

"I'm going to look cute, be comfortable and be authoritative!"



1. The high-heeled-high-black-boots
Example: Black Suede by Hattie and Mag
"I'm going to be chic, look sexy, not be comfortable, and attempt to be authoritative."

Top 5 Reasons I Hate ** Nicolas Cage

5. The way he talks out of the side of his mouth/ doesn't really open his mouth at all.

4. The fact that he named his kid "Kal-El," as in Superman's name back when he lived on Krypton.

3. His hair line. Ugh.

2. The fact that my liking National Treasure is compromised by his being in it.














1. Two words: Ghost Rider


** I feel bad saying hate. I'm sure you're a very nice, person, Nick.

Top 5 Reasons Women get to Relax More than Men

5. When someone walks in the room and says, "Can someone come help me carry this?" it is usually assumed that we don't have to respond.

4. We can easily brush off mistakes as being due to emotions, or woman times.

3. It's culturally acceptable for woman to sit at home all day while her husband works.

2. We're more likely to get offered a seat on a bus and have doors open for us.

1. We even get to sit down when we pee.

Top 4 Reasons That I'm Beginning to Think That Peaches are Allusions to Vajajays

This is a bit vulgar, but I've noticed a theme about peaches lately. They seem to be code for "vajajay." If you don't know what that is, you've missed a seriously important Grey's Anatomy-quote-turned cultural saying.

4. Princess Peach - come on, out of all the names, you choose "peach" for the only girl character in Super Mario? Plus, I dare you to try and tell me she doesn't look like a crazy whore.





3. James and the Giant Peach - my roommate says I ruined her childhood with this one, so don't read it if you hold this book close to your heart. It's about a vagina. Especially chapters:

• 6 "Well, I'll be blowed! There really is a giant peach up there!"
• 9 "And then, all at once, little shivers of excitement started running over the skin on James' back"
• and 10"the tunnel was damp and murky, and all around him there was the curious bittersweet smell of fresh peach".

It gets worse, I can't write most of it on here. If you had no idea what this book was about, you'd have to assume...




2. Peaches, the song by the Presidents of the United States of America

I've heard that this song is about the lead singer smushing peaches while he was waiting outside of some girl's house, wanting to tell her that he had a crush on her.

I've also heard that it's about vaginas.

I'm just saying, the first one seems like a likely explanation. Millions of peaches,peaches for me...
millions of peaches, peaches for free...

1. The following facts:

• urban dictionary's definition of the word peach
• the fact that in China, a peach was a sign of a "young bride."

You decide.

Top 3 Signs that the National Weather Service Has Lowered Its Standards

Here is what the National Weather Service has to say about Boston's impending snowstorm and the top three signs that they seriously need to re-evaluate who they have writing their reports.

A WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 9 PM THIS EVENING TO 5 PM EST MONDAY. Ok, that seems legit.

THIS WARNING COVERS NORTHERN CONNECTICUT... SOUTHERN NEW HAMPSHIRE... MOST OF RHODE ISLAND AND MASSACHUSETTS EXCEPT THE SOUTHEAST SECTIONS WHERE A WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IS IN EFFECT TODAY AND A WATCH STILL EXISTS TONIGHT AND MONDAY. This too, seems alright.

Sign # 1 - usage of inappropriate idioms combined with seemingly improper grammar. Shouldn't "is" be replaced with "are?"
TODAYS SNOW AND FLURRIES IN SOUTHERN NEW ENGLAND IS JUST A TEASE FOR WHATS COMING TONIGHT.

SIX TO 12 INCHES IS FORECAST FOR SOUTH CENTRAL NEW HAMPSHIRE WITH 5 TO 10 INCHES IN THE CONNECTICUT RIVER VALLEY.

Sign #2 - the implication that a shitload of snow is like winning the lottery (albeit, I'm excited about a potential snow day)
THE JACKPOT... 10 TO 15 INCHES... WILL PILE UP IN THE HEAVILY POPULATED BOSTON PROVIDENCE INTERSTATE 95 CORRIDOR... WESTWARD INTO NORTHEAST CONNECTICUT AND NORTHWARD THROUGH WORCESTER COUNTY INTO THE MERRIMACK VALLEY OF NORTHEAST MASSACHUSETTS.

Sign # 3 - the overall lack of proper punctuation. what's...with...all...the ellipses? there isn't...even a need...for a comma....after....the word "snow."
SNOW... WILL BE HEAVY AT TIMES BETWEEN 10 PM TONIGHT AND 10 AM MONDAY CAUSING NUMEROUS DELAYS OR CANCELLATIONS IN ALL SORTS OF TRANSPORTATION DEPENDENT BUSINESS.