Sunday, March 1, 2009
Top 3 Signs that the National Weather Service Has Lowered Its Standards
Here is what the National Weather Service has to say about Boston's impending snowstorm and the top three signs that they seriously need to re-evaluate who they have writing their reports.
A WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 9 PM THIS EVENING TO 5 PM EST MONDAY. Ok, that seems legit.
THIS WARNING COVERS NORTHERN CONNECTICUT... SOUTHERN NEW HAMPSHIRE... MOST OF RHODE ISLAND AND MASSACHUSETTS EXCEPT THE SOUTHEAST SECTIONS WHERE A WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IS IN EFFECT TODAY AND A WATCH STILL EXISTS TONIGHT AND MONDAY. This too, seems alright.
Sign # 1 - usage of inappropriate idioms combined with seemingly improper grammar. Shouldn't "is" be replaced with "are?"
TODAYS SNOW AND FLURRIES IN SOUTHERN NEW ENGLAND IS JUST A TEASE FOR WHATS COMING TONIGHT.
SIX TO 12 INCHES IS FORECAST FOR SOUTH CENTRAL NEW HAMPSHIRE WITH 5 TO 10 INCHES IN THE CONNECTICUT RIVER VALLEY.
Sign #2 - the implication that a shitload of snow is like winning the lottery (albeit, I'm excited about a potential snow day)
THE JACKPOT... 10 TO 15 INCHES... WILL PILE UP IN THE HEAVILY POPULATED BOSTON PROVIDENCE INTERSTATE 95 CORRIDOR... WESTWARD INTO NORTHEAST CONNECTICUT AND NORTHWARD THROUGH WORCESTER COUNTY INTO THE MERRIMACK VALLEY OF NORTHEAST MASSACHUSETTS.
Sign # 3 - the overall lack of proper punctuation. what's...with...all...the ellipses? there isn't...even a need...for a comma....after....the word "snow."
SNOW... WILL BE HEAVY AT TIMES BETWEEN 10 PM TONIGHT AND 10 AM MONDAY CAUSING NUMEROUS DELAYS OR CANCELLATIONS IN ALL SORTS OF TRANSPORTATION DEPENDENT BUSINESS.